Wednesday 21 July 2010

It was she...Part-IV

It took 2 days, 30 minutes and 52 seconds to let her talk to me after that incident (or accident!!). She told me clearly that she doesn’t want her boyfriend to go through the same what her father is suffering from whenever she achieved her consciousness. Though I was not fully agreed, but could not express my preference in the fear of losing her. Now I understand it is all pre planned in the court of The Almighty, but at that time I was pretty sure that I can build my future life. I know questions will arise in your minds why am I saying so negative to my life!! Huh! My life…… I used to dream a lot about it, about us, but……..

Sorry guys, I was carried away by thoughts, thoughts pouring from endless avenue to past. The roadside trees are leaving leaves of memories on the pavements of sheer pain. Anyways, I am not here to deliver you a slurry of mixed emotions, I will try to offer you all what was faced, in to-to.

All changed after that incident. I never saw her becoming so serious about her life before. She was totally fun loving, cheerful, jolly girl who always used to hang around with her friends. But after that day she cut few chapters of fun from her life. She started spending more time with me, causing trouble to my “social life”. Yes, I hated this part of her activities.

It was midnight when I was sitting on the roof top of the college hostel situated beside our college campus. It was a very old hostel giving shelter not only to our college students but also few students from other Government colleges. There were five wards distributed in a three storied U-shaped building and the newest ward, ward six was a seven storied building totally separated from the existing old building. We didn’t like the new building because its rooms were very much isolated from each other. There was another reason to dislike it. It was dominated by the then ruling party of the students’ council whom we hated like anything. So, ward three was our favorite, for endless gossips, music, fun and much more else.

It was a night of such kind when we gathered on the roof top to have some ‘fun’. Das was preparing ‘reefers’ with taking out the tobaccos out of the cigarettes so efficiently that it seemed he was doing it from his childhood. He was singing while doing it. Anjan, Dipto, Mrinmoy, Kali, Debu and Sumit were around. Many of us would have the greatest ‘Prasad’ of Lord Shiva for the first time. So everyone was a bit nervous. Das explained, “Please don’t be nervous. You guys won’t feel any sort of nervousness after doing it. So, just chill.” He gestured like a Bollywood hero.
“Is there any side effect of it?” Kali inquired.
“You Kali, you!! If you do like this, please leave.” Disgusted Das scolded Kali a bit.
“No no, it’s okay. I was just asking…”
“No need. When Das says something about Prasad, please try to believe. I said, you won’t be able to feel your nerves, so where from this question comes?” Das stretched his hands wide and fixed those in a mudra like Lord Nataraj.
“Okay, enough. Please proceed.” Irritated Anjan interfered to end the stupid discussion.
Das passed three reefers amongst us and asked to enjoy while he held one reefer with his fingers high and shouted “Bom Bhole”……..

We joined him. Anjan with his practiced hands lit the lighter and within few moments of unknown fumes we reached a high. I could only figured out Das was sitting on the top of the water tank while Debu and Dipto were moving around the roof with help of their four limbs pretending they were just out of the jungle. I looked at the sky. I felt I was moving towards the sky and the sky with thousands of starts on it was coming to engulf me in a much faster speed. I was almost out when Anjan said my phone was ringing. Anjan was the only stable guy within us who helped me hold my phone, “Yes, speaking. Who are you? Ma Durga? How are you madam? When are you coming this year? Please come fast naa…” Anjan banged me on my head, “Soham, it’s her.”
“I am talking to her, stupid!! Why did you bang me?” I was trying to punch his face but my feast took a round in the air and came back.
“Soham, it’s not Ma Durga. It’s her.” Anjan shouted.
It was like a spark flashed on the starry night and made me stand. I felt like my maths result has come out. I gripped the phone firmly and started speaking.
“Hello, is that you?”
“Who else do you expect to call you in the middle of the night? Is there anyone else?” Her voice was so calm that instantly I started stammering.
“No… No… No one….What are you saying dear….”
“Where are you?”
“In the hostel.”
“And what are you doing?”
“Nothing, just chatting with friends….”
“And with gods and goddesses….”
“No, that was nothing, actually we were acting, no no, we were playing actually….”
“Please don’t try to make me fool, Soham. Why are you doing this?”
“Please don’t fight now, I am very tired. I won’t do it again, I promise. But please don’t stop talking to me like last time.”
“Ohh, you can remember that. But cannot remember why I stopped talking to you.”
Shit… What I was trying to escape has started already. And now on I won’t be able to control myself.
“No, I cannot remember. And why should I remember always? Who are you to restrict me from my social life? Yes, I do love you, but that doesn’t mean you have power to interfere when I am with my friends. Why on earth girls are always so nagging, can you explain with a single minute of rational thinking? ….. Hello, hello?”
“Fine. You have already thought so much. It’s my turn now. I think I should not interfere any more. Bye, bye for now, bye for life. Good night.”

And she hung the phone. Instantly I found me falling from a multi-storied building endlessly. All I could do was just to come back to my friends who were still running on the floor using four limbs, singing in a very peculiar tone and etc etc. Anjan grabbed me when I was falling, and asked, “What happened? Had a fight, naa?”
I just started crying. Das came closer and started consoling me, “Vats!! It happens to everybody. After all, we all are mortal here. No one will escape the eyes of the Kaal…” He continued for a long while I slept there after a period of wiping.

Tuesday 20 July 2010

It was she...Part-III

"What were you doing there?"
"Inside the baddy court?"
"Was playing......what you expect from me other than playing inside the baddy court!!! Huh!!" I pretended as I was the champ badminton player in the college!
"Don't were smoking!!"
It was like a bolt from blue sky! How could she figure it out!! There was not a single girl inside when we were smoking, and the guys I was with were all my friends, they didn't know her well...even some of them don't know any of our college students......they just come from outside to have "feel" of the ELITE COLLEGEHOOD of my college!! Then how she came to know!
"Answer me." Her voice was calm but steady, low but much fierce. Instantly I felt like my mom has caught me stealing coins from my dad’s wallet.
“I…I….” WTF!!! Why I always stammer in confrontation with her? Shit… this is so irritating that whenever I think this is going to worsen the situation, I ended up in the worst condition I ever felt.
“What happened? You don’t have words, naa!! Fine, just tell me when you wish to talk to me…” She turned around and what did I do!! I stood as I was without a word to refrain her from going. She was thinking I would do it, she looked back and understanding the lack of presence of mind in me, she went away.
I was stunned, tried to catch her, but that too mentally, physically I could do nothing but standing in front of a dozen fools laughing at me. They were very happy to have a free post lunch drama within the canteen area. A guy (I disliked most) approached me and tried to give me a short lecture on how to handle a girl and not to let her in a man’s private space. I was so disturbed that I could not tell anything to that big fat fellow and let him continue. He ordered two lemon teas and offering one of those he started his own triumph over the sedative world of Maya and how he was going to attain Moksha!!! Now it was going too far, so suddenly I remembered that my lecture is going to start in next five minutes and thanking him for the tea I departed.

As I was passing by the union room, I saw her sitting inside the room alone, she was not like sitting idle without any friends around. I figured it out that something’s very wrong with her but hesitated to enter the union room. In those days, the union was being ruled by the opponents and we used to avoid the union room. And what more, she was a silent supporter for the opponents. But what could I do that day without crossing the door to talk to her!! She was sitting on a table with resting her feet on a chair beside it. Her face was pinkish and what is it!!! I was shocked when I saw she was crying… her eyes were like filled ponds in the rains trying to hold the excess water but unable to restrict the flood of emotions. I just asked “What happened?”
She kept mum. I wanted to get close to say her sorry, but she pushed me away with lots of anger in her eyes. “Don’t ever try to do it with me.”
I felt so humiliated that I couldn’t control my temper. “What I was doing?” I shouted as few fools looked inside the room as the second part of the post lunch free drama was being enacted for their pleasure.
“Don’t shout. Please leave me.” She told with biting lips with her teeth.
It was enough for me to control myself and I shouted again. “Why? This room is not your property. Why should I leave?”
“Fine!” Now she shouted, “Then I’m leaving. Have fun and please smoke inside the union room, it’s all yours.”
“Why on Earth girls are so furious about his boyfriend’s smoking habit, would you please explain miss?” I placed my hand so efficiently that she couldn’t get her out of the room. “Why they are not bothered when their friends smoke, they rather enjoy talking to them, but when this friend changes into her boyfriend, she tries to be his mom. Why is it so?”
“Because she tries to protect you, fool!” She was struggling with my hands to cross the door.
“That could be done patiently, without an Oscar winning emotional drama.” Slowly I was gaining confidence to confront her without fumbling.
“Yes, it could be done. But if your father is a patient of asthma and if you saw his gasping agony in the middle of the night with a single puff of cigarette and then if you have searched for a taxi like a mad girl running in the streets to reach the nearest hospital to let him breathe properly with oxygen musk, you could do nothing but what I have done.” She stopped. Her face was reddish, she was sweating heavily, I could hear her breathlessness.
I found myself so guilty for everything that I could not even hold my hand across the door. She went away.

Slowly I moved, my self confidence what was growing like Mt. Everest few minutes back, has zeroed by this time. I came back to my department. Tried her number, it was switched off. I couldn’t concentrate in the next lectures; even one of my favorite prof scolded me a little. I was pretending that today she won’t be going to board the train with me. And when it turned out to be true, I was shattered. I wished if I could say her sorry and my gratitude to her for thinking only good for me, always being there for me. But I was helpless. Strained, lost I entered the station and without buying the ticket I was moving towards the electronic gates.
“Who will buy your ticket, me? Do you expect me to do it for you after all this?”
“I… I was…” I started stammering again.
“Enough. Take it.” She gave me a ticket. “Now, let’s go, otherwise we’ll miss the train.” She started running.
“Oii…. Am sorry. Really, I mean it.” I tried to make her understand that I am very sorry for it.
“It’s okay. Now run.” She gestured.
“I am really sorry that I did not know your father’s case and behaved very bad.”
“It’s okay, I said.” The train entered the station and the door opened.
“Believe me, I am really sorry for my misconduct… and not for the cigarette.”
“You……..” She was trying to start the fight again but as people were pushing us from behind to get into the train, she couldn’t.
We boarded the train.